My late Grandma would always talk about her sister Dot. I wish I could remember what she would say. Only faint memories of her telling tales about Dot's white furniture and her escape to California. I can't remember much else. Only this: Every single week, my grandma would sit by her phone, and wait for Dot to call. And they would talk for hours.
It had been nearly 10 long years since they had seen each other face to face. Aunt Dot & Uncle Mac were finally coming to Pennsylvania to visit. To see her sister and all of us. But then my grandma tragically died. Dot & Mac were on a cruise ship and couldn't come home. Couldn't make the funeral. We never ended up seeing them.
But family is family, and somehow we all stayed in touch without my Grandma & Dot's phone calls. They would get packets of pictures of family events. And we would hear stories about how badly they wanted us to visit. Finally this past summer, my other aunt & uncle and my little brother went to San Diego to visit them.
The calendar turned to January and it was my turn.
And so I met them. In California, the land they claimed as their eden. They escaped to it over 40 years ago. Escaped Pennsylvania's family pain and chilly climate. Escaped more then we will ever know.
The time I spent with them was simply bittersweet. I met them, probably for the first and the last time. But it will be a forever time in my heart.
You see, it may be the last time because -
He has a rapid growing cancer and she has severe scoliosis.
They are dying, but they live.
Everything they do is an echo to the years of history and timeless love they share. My uncle Mac is 90, and he drives like he is 90. On the wrong side of the road. Missing turns that are right in front of him. The kind of driving that keeps it's passengers praying the entire time. But Aunt Dot, the entire time will just be exclaiming what a great driver he is. She will say, " Oh Mac, you are such a great driver, I can't believe how well you know where you are going. I am so proud" She is a Pennsylvania girl who fell in love with a southern boy from Virginia. And in their old age, she still calls him, "her rebel"
And my Uncle Mac, he is old, it's hard for him to walk. But he still always opens the doors for his lady. If her food from the restaurant comes out wrong, it ruffles his feather. He hates for anything not to be perfect for his lady. He always wants her smiling, and will do anything to make sure she still is.
They make fun of each other's old age. Laughing all the way. He makes fun of her old lady scarf and she makes fun of his old man hat. They still laugh. One of my favorite parts about them is the way that whenever the smallest good things occurs, they say "Look, did you see that...The Lord was so good to us" Over and over.
And my Grandma. I saw Dot and I saw Janet (my grandma). It wasn't just in the way she looked or the sound of her voice. But in the little things that mean the most. The kind of things that marked the uniqueness of a person that you loved with all your heart. It was the way Aunt Dot pulled the Weather's Original candy out of her purse. The way that she talked about the discount she got on her designer coat. The way she would head right to the gift shop when we get to an attraction, and try to buy me every knick knack in the place.
I had this vision of when I would meet them, that we would talk about my grandma. Share the memories of her that we love the most. But one sentence about my grandma was all our visit could handle. One sentence where I found out what was said on all those late night phone calls my grandma would wait up for. My aunt said to me, "your Grandmother loved you to pieces. She was so proud of you, her grandchildren were all she ever talked about" I heard the words, and my sunglasses filled with tears. My throat chocked with grief. I couldn't respond. Only stare at the pounding waves of La Jolla and feel an empty hole in my heart.
Dot & Mac are dying, but the live. They are old. Most their age and with their medical conditions live in nursing home. But not them. They still have a house. A little yard. A bitty dog. They prune their own orange tree. And tell hilarious stories of the coyote's that roam their street. Their friends sit in wheelchairs, but they drive their fancy car all over town - wining and dining at San Diego's best. Their friends venture to play more bingo games, but they venture the world. Not afraid to take frequent holidays. In a few months, they are going on a long holiday aboard an Alaskan cruise. They booked the veranda room. They tell me, "whenever you travel, book the veranda..you will get special perks...it will be worth it"
My Grandma & her sister hadn't seen each other in years. But in January, I got to stand on the brinks of eternity and be there for them both. I wish my Grandma could have been there. I know what she would have said. It would have ended with an "I told you so"
My Grandma is gone. But another part of her, me and the ones in life I love the most was on the other side of the country. Aunt Dot and Uncle Mac ran away to California so they could finally breathe. And breathe they did and they never stopped. Somehow by a magical wind, paths crossed and hearts met. I understood a little bit more about why I am me. I have a little extra hope for a magical adventurous life that is brimming with love and adventure, even into my old age. Because you see this January I found out, it's not simply a dream in my heart, it's in my genes too.
