The Story Of 4 Little Girls

Dear Reader, 

You are very lucky. You get to read a story tonight about the four most beautiful little girls on the earth. Honestly, I am not thrilled to write it so openly, it's more personal than I would like to share. But I trust the prompting of my Jesus, the little nudges that He whispered tonight, that says, "It's time to tell " 

Find your treasure in it, I already have mine. 

So here you go you, I am incredibly honored to tell you the story of the little girls that I was given the amazing privilege to love & {kinda} raise and the story of the God who always remained faithful to them.

[Early 2010]

Standing outside the abortion clinic, in the pouring rain. Along with a friend, I was kinda just there for the ride. I didn't have a plan or know what to do. Just as we were leaving, we saw a lady standing in the rain outside the clinic,waiting for a taxi. Long story, short- she is in my car...we drive to the pregnancy center..a few hours later..a young momma pregnant with her fourth little girl has hope for her future. She got up that morning with the painful reality that she would have to kiss her baby away at the abortion scheduled that morning, but because of some strange occurrence at the appointment & she had to reschedule it for another time & Jesus ambushed her on the way out. 

We soon meet her three little girls (ages 6, 2, & 11 months). The sweetest little creatures that you could ever imagine. It was love at first sight. I spent endless time with them for months. Taking them dinner, taking the girls to the park, going shopping, taking them to church every Sunday. Spoiling them! Buying them present...oh the fun! Everywhere we went...they went! You could just hug them all day long...every time that I would see them, they would rush me, & squeeze me to pieces...and make me promise to never let go. I would take them out & about, and everyone would say, "what beautiful children you have!" and I would simply say, "thank you!" . 

It was full of adventure too. All sorts of adventure. Sleep over's at my house. Nearly getting kidnapped when visiting them in their dangerous urban neighborhood. Some drugs. Some tantrums. And oh so much more! 

And then that beautiful little fourth baby girl arrived. 3 months early. So their momma had to be rushed into the hospital, and the girls moved in with us for awhile. Beautiful M was born, she was gorgeous! We loved her to pieces at first sight. [Though we couldn't figure out why she was born white? And not perfect chocolate like her sisters? Haha, in a weeks time she soon turned the perfect dark heaven skin that she was suppose to!! It was just our blissful ignorance of how things like that work out]

When momma got better, and could take care of everyone at home, we took the other three back to stay with them. 

Then it started to get a little dicey. 

There was a big bad wolf involved and he put those four little innocent lambkins through hell. And their momma too. I refuse to write the details of what he did to them. I refuse to remember. You can imagine though, what they might be. 

One day in the fall, momma ran away {maybe from the big bad wolf? Maybe from something else? we still aren't sure]. And she left all the kids with me. All four. Even three month old baby M. My family was left to care of four little girls. 

So we did. There were no other options. They moved in again. They brought joy & laughter to our house. but with a missing momma, abuse there had to be pain & heartache too.

There were endless tears for all of us in this season of life. Tears...Tears...heartache...heartache...

But Jesus came to them. And He held them & loved them through our arms. We would tell them the beautiful stories of how He gave everything so that they could be apart of His family. And they would pray to Him, and tell Him how much they loved Him. D (age 3 at that time)..."Jenny be sure to write down in your journal...D loves Jesus...D loves Jesus...be sure that you write that down, I want everyone to know"  We still laughed in those hard weeks, we all fell in love with Jesus a little more...especially those four sweet little girls! I taught them how to ties their shoes, they taught me how to dream ("when I grow up, I am going to be President!") 

One of things that I learned in those "last" weeks were that you really can't do anything without the body of Christ. I am so thankful for my dear sweet friends, like Jason & Katie & Gary & Nicole...who opened their hearts & home...to all of us...when the threats came..and it wasn't safe for us to stay at my house anymore..we moved to theirs..thank you! thank you! 

I wanted to save them. To spare them from ever going through pain again, they went through enough. We assured the little girls that they would be safe now, they wouldn't be hurt or beat anymore...that those days were over. 

But we couldn't save them. They had to go back. My last memory of them is them is them screaming, and bawling at the top of their lungs as they drove away in the sw car. They were shaking in fear to have to go back to the very man (who the government thought wouldn't be there anymore, but we knew would be) that hurt them so badly. They were going back right to the terrible place that I had promised them a thousand times they would never have to go back too (because I thought that was true). It was miserable. 

Floods of tears for days. Heartbroken that we couldn't rescue them. Feeling like we failed them. 

The only thing we could do was cling to the word that God had given us that He loved & cared for the girls more than we ever could. That He held in His heart, the sweet little prayers of adoration to Him that they would whisper as we tucked them in each night. 

TIme elapsed since that tragic night when they left. People soon stopped asking where my "girls" were. I got busy. Days would pass were I wouldn't think of them, week even. Occasionally, I would see something that would remind me of everything, and my heart would be swept with emotions & thoughts if they were all still safe. 

But my Jesus!!!! Our compassionate Christ never forgot them. 

Inching up on the 2 year after mark of all of this....I found a current picture of them on the internet. This little picture meant the world to me. And it showed that the big bad wolf wasn't in their life anymore. That they were safe, happy, whole & beautiful! Jesus had loved, cherished, and held them all this time. Just like He promised me He would. 

I have never felt released to go find them again. I love them from afar, because I know He loves them so closely.  

So Jesus, as you are kissing them to sleep tonight- Can you please whisper them this from me? 

Dear D, D, M & M, 

Your are so loved. So precious. So dear. So celebrated! I hope that you are still dreaming big dreams for your lives, and know that YOUR Jesus paid in blood for every desire in your heart. 

Thank you my girls for teaching me about Jesus. Thank you for helping me grow up so fast. Thank you for the endless piles of smiles you brought me. I will never forget you :) 

I miss you lots,

Your Jenny. 

So my sweet four little girls--here's to you! All the bliss in the universe to you! All your dreams coming true! 

And sweet readers, lets raise our glasses tonight to the ones that we thought were in hopeless situations, but that He always remained faithful too! 

Just like He has always been to me. 

And to you! 

My favorite little girl in Bluefields, Nicaragua- Continued!

[2012]We just went to our favorite garbage dump in Bluefields....

and I found her.

I sat in the trash, she sat in my lap and it was glorious!

.

My favorite little girl in Bluefields, Nicaragua

[2010] She sat there like an angel, and while her momma worked in the trash, she held their lunch.

[2011] While momma worked, she sat on a crate in the trash pile...and held a pretty umbrella like a fairy tale princess.

[One day] She will grow up and likely join the other ladies in her community, holding huge sticks as they sort through the trash.



Yet, no matter where she will be or what she will be doing, the Creator of the Universe will hold her!!!!!

Oh hey you!

Hi sweet little blog,

Oh? You don't recognize me--that's because I have been avoiding you and pretending that you don't exist. Yup, I have been a terrible blog tender/momma. And I have no shame in admitting it. No excuses, either- Actually, only thoughts of all the glorious things I could have blogged about--

Perhaps, I could have given a lively recount of the time I danced in a cafe in Istanbul with some of my dearest friends and we ended up on Korean television {don't worry, it was the kind of dancing that you would dance at your pastor's birthday party]. Or I could have throw some heart melting stories about all the babies in my life. Ohhh, I would have probably wrote charming post about all the new recipes that have been stirring up in my kitchen. There may have been a post that would have made dog lovers smile, and dog haters frown- it would have involved a dog/on a 7 hour flight/ sitting on passengers feet...and more!!!!!

Sorry you missed out on all of that, but onwards & upwards. Right?

Little blog, despite everything that you are coming against you will be happy to know that you are going to have a very bright future. Because, I woke up in 2012 with an urgency in my heart to honor Christ, to honor His (and our) Father by writing about what He has done & is doing. I only have one earth life to know Him & what He has done in this capacity. Only one earth life to celebrate, rejoice in, and proclaim about how my Jesus has rescued me from the garbage pit. Only one earth life to boast in the fact it's no longer I, but Christ. And oh so much more-- You were made for rejoicing, rejoice you will!

Cheer's to your glorious future, little blog! Let's eat the Lamb together in front of the world, all day & night.

One Sacrifice

Sacrifice has been my mind all summer. The sacrifice of Christ to be exact. The Christ Crucified sacrifice that altered everything. It's a topic that has been my summer cuisine so I been devouring it in the Word and in the writings of fellow believers.

It has brought me to the conclusion that the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross is my greatest and most prized possession. It it's the most lavish gift that our faithful God has given to mankind and I am so grateful for it.

A trillion words could be written to describe what the sacrifice of Christ hung there, shedding His blood in humiliation accomplished. And we need to know about it!!! And gush about it to all around us, and let our hearts daily be ravaged by the truth of Christ offering to us.

But right now, since the night is short and my to do list is screaming my name, I just want to holler about one thing- Tonight, I was remembering the thoughts that I would think and sometimes even say about my own personal sacrifice to God. Just a quick example-right before I got saved I walked away from a dream job offer that I wanted for three years. And even up until a year ago, I counted giving up that job (and other things) as cost of following Christ. I constantly dwelled on what I was offering to God...(Oh...look at me, Jesus...I am giving you a year of my life at ministry school)

But now, it is my upmost joy and honor to proclaim that it cost me nothing to serve Christ. My sinful & wretched state before Christ cost me my union with Him, sin cost me everything I now hold dear. The Messiah was executed on the stake as a criminal- that is the only sacrifice that counts. It cost God everything to rescue me and He was full of pleasure to pay that price.

I don't have anything to lay on the alter that can add an ounce to what He has poured out on the Cross. It's my happy privilege to announce that Jesus Christ is worth far more than everything I thought was sacrificially giving up.

There is only room for one sacrifice...His!!!!!!! Not mine or yours!!!!

Let's spend a life time (not just a year..haha) rejoicing in & overflowing with happy gratefulness about the finished works of the Savior!!! Let's not consider anything else----

Alright, I am cutting myself off now!!!

P.S.-Sorry my grammar & writing skills are not rocking in this post- it's late and I am typing way too fast!!!! Next time will be better, I promise....

Such trust!!!!

Oh my! The thought of writing here has floated into my head many times. My way to busy for a normal existence schedule has shoot that sweet little inspiration down one too many times. So here I am.

Ready to write even though blogging feels incredibly cheesy.

Ready to write even though I am going to have to supernaturally stop the clock to make it happen.

Ready to write because the creative melodies are humming their sweet little way up my heart. Ready to write because I serve the most gracious, loving, compassionate, beautiful, magnificent, marvelous, Holy, gentle, mighty, sovereign God that anyone can ever know. I have no choice but to boast in Him, even if it's though a little blog. I have pledged my life to give Him glory- so my little blog...here you go!!!! Go bring Him glory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This past November, I was sitting in the San Francisco airport waiting to board a plane to Hong Kong. As any good little homeschooler would, I was journaling. And the Lord kept telling, "You can trust me. You can trust me. You can trust me." And I wrote, I trust you that You have every solution before any of my problems begin. My heart was flooded with peace and then I boarded the plane.

About 3 minutes after I boarded, a particular situation arose on the plane. It was a beast and significant and directly involved my team & I. Due to the lively nature of what happened and protection issues, I cannot divulge the details so publicly on the Internet. But I can whisper you this: that the Lord so ever sovereignly handled..and fixed it..so beautifully and perfectly in two minutes. If I had spent two weeks trying to figure out how to properly handle the situation my plan would fail miserable to to His divine intervention in that moment.

All was well after we took off so I started wiggling to the beat of my music. Of course, I couldn't sit still so I stood up in the aisle and pretended to stretch (I was truly lifting my hands to..Praise Him!!!!!) The cabin lights were dark and the lyrics that rolled into my ears were, "Your goodness found me in the darkness!!!!" I nearly fell over in awe. Thinking back to the little dramatic episodes several hours earlier. I didn't have to stop in the middle of it and say, "Okay now Jesus...I decided right now to trust you and to pick you. I could pick the devil...but I choose you. I pick what you want..I pick to let you have control of the situation"..No No No No No. It was nothing like that. He just ambushed us with His goodness and glory. There was no room for me at all. He was sovereign and just simply did Holy thing. I didn't go looking for Him to intervene. He found me. He delivered me from the situation without my approval. So there I was standing in the dark aisle of the plane, ambushed by the goodness of God and speechless as I realized how much I can trust my Jesus.

That precious little moment popped my eyes open to the sweetest of trusting Jesus. It made me become so aware of how the Lord so sweetly paves our lives with His sovereign grace. I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus. I trust you, Jesus has not stopped playing over and over in my heart since. He finds us, delivers us, saves us and redeems us from every snare before we can even cry for help. He overrides my plans and will for that divine rescue--There is so much glory on that!!!!!!!!

And how I could write a million books about the endless ways He has proved Himself faithful since that epic moment on the plane to Hong Kong. He always was before, and always will be...Ohh Jesus!!!!!!!! I trust you!!!!!!!!

Cheers & Love!!!!

P.S. A thought just sprang into my head. The best thing about God sovereignly handling situations with His perfect will and goodness is that He gets all the glory. I can't sit here and boast about how I picked Him over picking darkness. And then give myself a little pat on the back for being such a Godly Christian because I did something. No. No. No. No. I can only boast in the Cross!!!!!!!!!! And what God has accomplished for me.

"But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ...Galatians 6:14"

Oh hello my little blog!

Here you are, a little [almost] miracle. Because you see I have always thought blogs to be "so old

school" and I have ZERO time to fill your pages with glory.

You were created so that when I am on glorious dump trips I could write about the poorest of the poor [and Jesus in them] Clearly, that has not happened yet. Sorry. Sorry.

But God!!! Lets say in the last month or so, I have been reminded how much I used to love to write. I have been so busy the past two years, that I simply haven't given and time or effort into writing. Starting you has been a twirling thought in my head for some time, and then tonight when I was on the treadmill, the Holy Spirit came and just arrested my heart and I knew that it was long overdue that you should come. And my wee little heart began jumping and dancing with joy so wildly that I nearly fell off the treadmill.

So..here you are my sweet little blog!!! I am going to fill your post with wonderful tales about our beautiful and wonderful Jesus, His precious sacrifice, His beauty among the poorest on earth, His goodness in every little moment, all the lively adventures that somehow seem to ambush me, how much I love (my family, my job, my friends, the poor, and watermelon), and probably lots on how stinking cute my nephew is.

You are here because God is good and I can type way faster than I can journal. Perhaps I will keep you all to myself or maybe I will even dare to share you?? Hmm!!!

Cheers...